What Women Should Wear on a Date:

Don’t let it all hang out.  Too much skin isn’t sexy, in fact it can read as desperate.  You are a present – a gift – presents are beautifully wrapped.  Show only one bit of skin at a time, so if you’re doing cleavage, wear a longer skirt, if it’s your back, then don’t have a low cut top.

Show some skin, no need to cover up neck to knees completely, but be a little mysterious – sheer fabrics can hint at what is beneath without giving everything away.

Wear touchable textures – soft fabrics, and fabrics that feel good to the touch are ideal to wear on a date.

Think form fitting, not skin-tight.  I we can see your underwear lines through your clothes, they’re too tight, be a little mysterious, hint, but don’t be too overt.

Animal prints are sexy, florals are not and stripes are not.

Dress like a woman, not a man.  Yes you may spend a lot of your time in jeans and trousers, but a dress or skirt on a date reminds him that you’re a woman.

Put on some makeup, focus on either your lips or your eyes, but not both at the same time.

Wear some earrings that sparkle, they draw attention to your face.

Want to raise his pulse?  Wear some red, studies have shown that red raises your blood pressure.

What Men Should Wear on a Date:

She’s most likely put some effort into her appearance, she wants you to do the same, so put on a nice dress shirt and a pair of stylish dark denim jeans if you’re going out to a more casual venue, those mid-blue comfortable kind of baggy jeans aren’t going to impress.  Keep a blazer or jacket to throw over if it’s chilly.

Wear leather dress shoes. Women notice your shoes, sneakers just don’t cut it.

Wear a collared shirt if you’re going out somewhere nice, but not one that just says ‘work’ and ‘office’, something with a little more personality.

Be careful with the aftershave, too much can overwhelm, you want a hint, not a bucket, so that she wants to get closer to you not further away.

Everyone

For both sexes, think about wearing a shirt or top that brings out the colour of your eyes, then you’ll have your date staring deply into them all night.

Smile – that’s the best accessory you could ever wear on a date!

And of course, what you wear needs to be appropriate for the occassion, going bowling, dress down a bit, going to dinner, use it as an excuse to dress up.

What would you take?

Natural disasters seem to becoming more common, with two recent earthquakes in Christchurch New Zealand, parts of Australia are regularly destroyed by bush fires and one of my friends houses was recently flooded and 80% of her possessions destroyed.  What has this got to do with clothes you ask?  Well even if you don’t live in a natural disaster prone area it’s worth thinking about this… what would you take if you only had a few minutes to grab your clothes before having to evacuate?

Would you be able to grab your favourite garments quickly because your wardrobe is well ordered and you can lay your hands on them easily?

Would you find it difficult because you’re swamped by too much choice because you have too many clothes?

Would it be difficult because your clothes are all orphans and don’t work together and no matter what you grabbed it would be hard to put outfits together?

Would you want to leave it all behind as you’re really not happy with any of your wardrobe?

What would you take?  Would it be an easy or a hard decision?

Imagine what it would feel like having to wear someone else’s clothes if you couldn’t take your own?

Even if you never have to grab and run, consider your wardrobe – do you have the clothes to support your lifestyle?  The clothes that are appropriate for the range of situations you regularly find yourself confronting?  If you don’t, which situations do you find most difficult

The new year is a great time of reassessment (well anytime is great to reassess aspects of our lives, but we frequently focus on it during the New Year period).  It’s worth looking at your wardrobe with a critical eye, removing all the clothes that you never wear and then assessing what you have and whether or not they’re still working for you.  If your favourite garments are looking tired and old, it’s time you refreshed them and found replacements so that you look modern, in-charge and in control.

If you had to get someone else to go shopping for you who would you recommend as a style you’d wear to give them an idea of the kind of image you’d like to portray?  Thinking about this question can help you find your personal style, so that you’re not forced to wear someone elses clothes (which can feel all wrong).   Sales people have often said to me that people come into the stores and try on garments but will then say “it’s not me” but can’t actually figure out what is “me”.

Fortunately I can help you find out which garments suit your personality and make you feel like the best version of you.  The clothes that make you look and feel fabulous – so if you find it all too hard to figure out – feel free to give me a call!

1.  Not shopping with a list – do you shop in the supermarket without a list?  Sometimes, but mostly not.  There is no point in buying more of what you already have and forgetting that ingredient that really makes the dish work.  Same principle applies to your wardrobe, you need to figure out what your holes are and then write a list and fill them.

2. Buying because it’s a bargain.  A bargain is not a bargain if it’s not you, doesn’t fit properly, you don’t love it, or it doesn’t fill a wardrobe hole.  Spending money on a $20 top that you either never wear or wear once is a complete waste of that $20.  Only buy a bargain when it’s something that is on you list (see point 1).

3. Not checking the care label before you buy.  If it’s a fabric that needs special care, yet you’re a wash and wear kind of person, then you won’t wear it, knowing that it means a trip to the dry cleaners or having to do some hand washing.  It will sit in your wardrobe because you know that garment takes too much effort for you.

4. Buying fabrics that crush if you hate ironing.  Linen is a gorgeous fabric, but if you hate looking crushed, or hate ironing, steer well clear of it as it won’t make you look or feel great.

5. Being talked into the garment by the sales person.  Their job is to sell, they have to make targets, they want you to spend some money today in their shop.  They are likely to tell you it looks great when it look atrocious and is not a garment that’s made for your body, colouring or personality style.    If you’re unsure, take it off and walk away.  If you can’t stop thinking about the garment after a couple of days, then go back and purchase it.

6. Buying multiples of the same garment.   You may think it’s practical – and it can occasionally work, for things like t-shirts in a great style in a few flattering colours, but for most garments 1 is enough.  If you’re bored with your wardrobe, and you have lots of multiples of the same garment – this is why – you’ve got no choice. Usually too, one of the colours will be way more flattering and you’ll only wear one of them, you don’t need it in every colour.

7. Going shopping when you’re feeling down.  Looking for a pick-me-up or a shopping high is a sure way to credit card debt and financial woes (which won’t make you happier).   Buying for the sake of buying is not a good move.  If you’re feeling low call up a friends and have a chat, go for a long walk in the fresh air, hit the gym, curl up on the couch with a movie or a book, but stay away from the stores!

8. Coyping a someone elses style.  We often look at friends and think – wow – they look great.  Then, we go and copy their clothing style, only to discover that it doesn’t work on us.  The reason it looks so great on our friend is that it suits their personality, body shape, and colouring, not ours.  Spend some times discovering your unique style before you hit the shops.  Then you’ll know what really is you and what is not.

9.  Buying different, for the sake of different.  Quite often we get stuck in a style rut.  So we hit the shops and to shake off that rut we buy something that is completely different from anything else we own.  And then we get it home and it sits in our wardrobe, we try it on occassionally, but take it off because it’s just not right.   What we’ve done is buy someone elses style, often the opposite of ours, but it doesn’t work because it makes us feel uncomfortable.

10.  Shopping with a friend.  What?  How can that be a shopping mistake?   Unless your friend is trained as an image consultant (or has a really fabulous eye for style and understanding what does and doesn’t work) when they tell us what works on us they are only telling us what they personally like, or if they had our body, what they’d dress it in, not necessarily what is really a true and genuine reflection of who we are.  The only time I suggest friends shop together, is whey they’ve done a style and colour consultation together and they truely understand what does and doesn’t work for each other and then can be a great advisor.  Until then, shop alone or with an image consultant.

BONUS Tip. Wearing the wrong clothes when you go shopping. You want to be comfortable and have an easy time getting dressed and undressed when shopping.  Any clothes and shoes you have to struggle to get into and out of will mean that you try on less, and are less likely to find the right garment, instead settling for almost rather than perfect.

And remember If you don’t love it, leave it on the rack!

Not sure what to shop for?  Maybe it’s time you booked a wardrobe and shopping session with me to really get your style and wardrobe sorted.

How do you differentiate between the two?  Well follow my 3 simple rules to make sure you buy wisely this sales season.

1. Does it make you look fabulous and show off your body in a way that makes you happy?  It’s a keeper.    If it’s something that’s right – on trend – but doesn’t work for you, then it’s a one night stand.  If you have to have it – buy cheap!

2. Does the pattern or print speak of an era?  Yes, florals are always in, but they change over time.  The current Navajo trend, fun this season, but will be gone the next – one night stand territory.   Classic stripes or animal print?  It will be around for seasons to come – it’s a keeper.

3. Is the shape of the garment right now?  Is it the latest ‘new black’?  These are the one-night stands of fashion.  Particularly if the colours don’t really flatter your complexion.    Is it a great neutral that will last for years or a colour that makes you look alive, vibrant and radiant?  Then it’s a keeper.

So before you grab that bargain, consciously think about whether you will be wearing this garment in years to come or if it’s just because you want a bit of new,  and then decide accordingly whether or not it will earn its valuable spot in your wardrobe.

Not sure what to shop for?  Maybe it’s time you booked a wardrobe and shopping session with me to really get your style and wardrobe sorted.

I’m really excited that you’ve found my website and want to let you know where you can find lots and lots more information to help you along your style journey.

If you’re interested in knowing more about how I can help you, have a look around this website and you can find out all about me and my services and how I can help you.

If you’d like to read lots of other articles head over to my blog Inside Out Style where you’ll find over 700 tips, tools and videos to help you.

And I’d love your feedback and questions, so feel free to email me via the contact page and questions you’ve got so that I can help you.  Do try searching my blog as there is lots and lots of information there, but if you can’t find the answer, I’m at the other end of the phone or email.

If you’re interested in becoming an image consultant yourself, why not head over to my Absolute Image Training Institute and find out more about this fantastic career.

You may find one of my ebooks helpful:

The Finishing Touch: perfecting the art of accessorizing

Never Short on Style: dressing and finessing the petite frame

Travelling Light: learn the art of packing light

Your Essential Style Guide: 151+ tips from an image consultant

And don’t forget to grab your free ebook 5 Step Formula for a Fabulous Wardrobe on a Budget when you sign up for my monthly Fabulous You ezine.

Colours have properties, and each colour has 3 properties which are:

1. Value – how light or dark the colour is. For example, light mint green, medium apple green, dark forest green.

2. Intensity – how bright or muted (greyed or dulled down) the colour is. For example, hot pink (very bright) or ashes of roses (muted pink).

3. Undertone – whether the colour is warm or cool. If we think Green, it could be a warm olive green or a cool mint green, or tomato red (warm) vs raspberry red (cool).

Colour properties

Black’s colour properties are cool, dark and bright, and if these are your colour properties it will flatter you, but beware, if you are warm, light or softer in your colouring, black will appear harsh and unflattering.
Your unique colour properties will relate to the colours that most flatter you.   So let’s look at each of these as related to colouring.

Value

Do you have light or dark hair (overall)? Do you have light or dark skin?

For example, I have dark brown hair, so have a deep value (even though my skin is very fair), because hair is 75% of what we notice colour wise when we look at someone’s face. If you were a blonde like Cameron Diaz, you’d be light, even Jennifer Anniston would be classed as Light in value.

From deep value to light value

Now, as we age, this can change (or if we dye our hair lighter or darker). For example, here is a photo of my Dad when he was young with deep black hair, and now with white hair. He was dark in his colouring, but now he is light and suits overall lighter colours.

Now if you are of an ethnic background that has darker skin such as Indian or African, you may find that your skin gives you your deep value. I have found with Asian skins there is the full gamut of light to deep, so you need to see which suit you more, light or dark colours, and you may find a colour consultation can really help you nail what suits you.

Intensity

Are your skin, hair and eyes clear and bright, or are they more soft and muted?  When we are young we’re at our brightest, our skin is clear, our hair is more intense.

From Clear to Softer

Here I am at around 27 years old and then again at 42. You can see that my skin was much paler than it is now and my hair darker – I have included a hair swatch (hard to see in a photo, much easier to see in real life). You may think my hair is the same colour, but in fact it’s now the Medium Brown pictured and at the time of the first picture it was Black.  I have had to start lightening up the shade of brown I dye it since I was about 37, and I really notice now if the hair colour is to dark and harsh for my more mature skin.
It stops being flattering to our skin dying our hair to what we consider to be our natural colour, instead we need to soften up our hair and start lightening it to make it more flattering to our current complexion.   I used to be able to wear really bright red lipstick but now I need to wear a more subtle red (if that’s the direction I’m heading) or it makes my lips look like they’re jumping off my face.

As we age, our hair goes grey, our skin dulls, our eyes lose some of their brightness. I remember when I was young my Dad’s eyes were a really bright blue, now they are a dull grey blue.

It is this greying down that makes black become harsher and harsher on our skin and harder and harder to wear. It highlights wrinkles and double chins, adds shadows and bags under our eyes. Not flattering!

Undertone

Our undertone comes from our skin pigments such as melanin and carotene. These pigments change too as we age, and warm skins can cool down as they age. So the colours that suited you when you were younger may not suit you as you age.

How We See Colour

When we see a colour we’re seeing reflected light. Black is the absorbtion of colour (no colour is reflected) but what does happen is cool dark shadow is reflected onto our face. Watch this short video on how to get rid of your double chin to show you how it works.

how to make your double chin disappear

Black Alternatives

So what to wear now that black is no longer flattering to your skin?
As you lighten up you will need to choose lighter and softer neutrals instead of black. As your skin and hair loses its brightness, think about wearing neutrals and colours that look a little smoky or soft instead of bright or bold.

Neutral alternatives to black - top row cool, bottom row warm

Cool neutrals: charcoal, grey, navy, rose beige, rose brown.
Warm neutrals: warm grey, khaki, olive, walnut, camel, brown, tan

You’ll be amazed at the difference between wearing black and one of the many other neutral options available to you.

In a colour consultation you receive a colour palette which includes a range of great neutrals and colours that flatter your complexion today. We’ll look at the colours that really flatter you, find you your best dark neutrals plus all of your other signature colours. It’s important to reassess your colouring about every 10 years as it continues to change during your life.
There are many great colours and neutrals that will be way more flattering for you than wearing black, and they will be easy to mix and match with your wardrobe if the colours you choose are all those that work with your unique colouring.

These colours say fun

Did you know that studies have shown that sporting teams who wear black uniforms are penalised more heavily than teams with other uniform colours?

Did you know that sporting teams who wear red are considered more aggressive than those who wear blue?

Did you know that shades of soft pastel pink help to reduce aggression and are used in some prisons in the USA to keep prisoners from getting aggressive and using violent behaviour?

Did you know that blue is the worlds favourite colour?

Did you know that men tend to name colours in their basic terminology – red, yellow, blue etc. whilst women tend to name shades of colours – raspberry, tomato, lemon, cornflower, olive etc.

Did you know that we perceive colours such as brown, tan and camel as sturdy and reliable, earthy and non-judgmental.  Thus if you want people to open up to you, wearing these shades will help people to feel comfortable with you and they will be more open.

In advertising:

• Colour increases brand recognition by up to 80 percent.
• Colour ads are read up to 42 percent more than similar ads in black and white.
• Colour can be up to 85 percent of the reason people decide to buy

More interesting colour facts:

• A factory in the United States changed the colour of their bathrooms to an unpleasant green  saw production increase by 8%.
• Customers of a coffee house constantly complained about the cool temperature in the room. At that time, the walls were painted a light blue. After changing the colour to orange, there were no more complaints.
• The colour yellow can cause nausea, so it is avoided in airplanes.
• Black boxes seemed heavier to workmen than green boxes filled with the same material.
• Red can make you hungry, while the opposite colour, green, suppresses it.
• The colour red can also increase your muscle reaction, make you want to gamble more, and raise your blood pressure. Blue has the opposite effect.
• Blue street lighting resulted in lower crime rates in Glasgow in 2000.

These colours are more serious

When you think that all companies the produce good wrap them in packaging and there is some considerable thought and research into the colour of the packaging, what do the colours you wear (your packaging) tell the world about you?  How do people react to you depending on the colours you wear?

Have you noticed if people react to you differently when you wear particular colours as compared to wearing black?

Many of my clients notice that when they start wearing flattering colours people know something is different and although they can’t put their finger on it, but will comment on how they’ve lost weight, look well rested and younger, or just look great.

One of my clients who suffers rosacea noticed after her colour analysis and starting to wear her flattering colours which helped to tone down the redness in her complexion, that people had started behaving much friendlier towards her, previously she’d been perceived as aggressive and angry (because of her red skin).  She was overwhelmed with happiness how a simple change such as changing the colour of her top could make such a huge and positive difference to her interpersonal relationships.

Start using colour to your advantage.  If you need to be the focus or centre of attention in a meeting or giving a presentation, try wearing a little bit of red to draw attention to you and create some excitement.

Want to gain consensus?  Wear lighter blues and greens to appear non-threatening and approachable.

Need to be the authority figure team a dark grey or navy with a light or white coloured shirt.

Want to close a sale?  Wear a light pink (particularly if you’re a man).

Want more ideas on wearing colours, check out these articles on Inside Out Style:

How to Create a Casual Column of Colour

Style Rules – Break or Follow?

How to Mix Colours

How to Look Taller Using a Column of Colour

How to Use Colour to Enhance Your Life

Often there you’ll find that a pattern might have a mix of colours, some that fit with your colour palette and some that don’t.  How do you know if it’s OK to wear?

Watch this short video to find out.